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Adult Children - Dependent and Supported by Senior Parents
A tremendous opportunity awaits everyone
Presumably, and perhaps tacitly so, for economic reasons adult children may live with and possibly even be partially financially supported by their (senior) parents. This may include married couples with, or without children, for a time. Tunabudget believes there is a tremendous opportunity for each person in this arrangement to come together and turn this into a wonderful, important, and memorable experience. Life these days is certainly full of challenges and such arrangements can truly help the overall well-being of all family members, and their financial well-being as well.
The ideal adult ‘you’, or the abusive adult ‘you’
First, maybe you are the adult child in this scenario. Perhaps you are single or married and a parent too. Maybe you’re in school, working towards the repayment of student loans, or heavily in debt; there are many reasons why your budget is short and you need help. The cost of living is nearly impossible in some areas, and the challenges are only increasing. Ideally, you are truly responsible, have a strong work ethic, are healthy, honest, frugal, kind, considerate and employed. Hopefully, you have a Tunabudget worksheet plan that shows you where you are at financially today, how you got here, and where you are going in the near term. But maybe the ideal isn’t in your favor. If not, especially while living with your parents, look at this arrangement from their perspective. Most parents will do whatever they can to assist you, and hopefully you are displaying ideal characteristic traits and not abusing them in any way. You understand what cooperation with and watching out for your parents is all about, right? There will likely be numerous ways for you to assist them in an expression of appreciation and love – things that should be done for them each and every day. You know if you are taking unfair advantage of them, too. If that’s the case, stop it and fix it immediately; physical, mental, or emotional abuse of any kind is never to be tolerated regardless of how you may feel, etc.
It’s okay for adult family members to live together
Second, maybe you are the senior parent(s) in this scenario. You know that ideally, you’d expect for your children to ‘move on’ as they become adults, but for one reason or another, one may now live with you. And for how long, nobody seems to know. There’s nothing so sweet as the senior years, where you can spend some much-warranted sweetheart-time together in the privacy of your own home, and elsewhere. Being such wonderful parents, you have high expectations of your adult children living with you, and trust that they have a plan to be independent and are working towards that plan with real diligence. Everyone knows the benefits of being independent and the growth that comes thereby. But sometimes that isn’t the way it works out. And being together can be a wonderful opportunity to share and sacrifice together in remarkable ways. It is ‘okay’ for family members to be living together, as adults, and with grandchildren.
The new senior parent ‘love’; sharing wealth early
So, rather than getting tied up in a knot having to either live with or to help support your adult child(ren), you may take the opposite approach and do everything you can to properly assist them. In other words, lead the way with love, and let your temporal assistance be freely given. This love is different than anything you’ve experienced before because they are no longer children, but adults. This is the kind of love that will surprise you when you think about it. It is love that is compassionate, unconditional, quick forgiving, long-suffering and friendly. It’s the love that usually is not present whatsoever when you’ve been seriously offended with mean words, unappreciated, taken advantage of, etc. Fast forward to your senior years, are there ways to bless the lives of your adult children in ways that you’ve heretofore never even considered possible? If you’ve acquired wealth, what do you think about dispensing it to your adult children now, and live the rest of your lives more simply, with minimum ‘stuff’? This might just make it possible for your posterity to gain a foot-hold in today’s world. It’s worth giving it some serious thought. Let tomorrow take care of itself, right? Maybe your adult children will want to take care of you?
CANDID QUESTIONS
If you’re an adult child living with or receiving support from a parent, how does this make you feel?
Is there a sense of duty to do all you can to be independent, responsible, have a strong work ethic, be healthy, honest, frugal, kind, and considerate?
If you’re not that way now, what are you willing and desirous to do about it?
Do you have a Tunabudget worksheet plan for the next year or so?
If you’re a senior parent, have you considered a new mind-set to openly love your adult children with compassion, unconditionally, quick forgiveness, long-suffering, being friends, and kindness?
How about re-aligning your balance sheet to share-away the bulk of your assets and thereby reduce and simplify your standard of living?
What good could you do for your adult children now from your sharing your assets before you die?
Why not do it now?